Mitt Romney recently claimed that he will never earn the vote of 47% of the American populations vote because they fundamentally disagree on the availabilty and usage of so called 'entitlement programs'. He claims that these individuals believe that they CANNOT take care of themselves and thus look to the federal government to pick up the slack. Mitt Romney is right about one thing, he will never get the vote of these people he characterizes as lazy and opportunistic. But i doubt he even as a clue as to why. 
Mitt Romney's attitude toward welfare recipients is symptomatic of a larger prejudice that exists in America. One in which the American people hold each other to this practically unattainable 'American Dream' standard of living which has sparked many irresponsible 'keeping up with the Jones' competitions in neighborhoods across America. The standard of measure which demonstrates how hard you work is thus, quantified in the amount of dollars you are worth, and further represented by what it is that you spend it on. 
The fact of the matter is that this is a rigged game, and the individuals at the top set the rules. And what Romney and many other conservatives fail to acknowledge is that there is a wide discrepancy in the opportunities afforded different members of society. And it is awfully cruel to promote this gluttoness 'American Dream' on a pedastal and claim that there is simply one way to get there: by working hard. This is so cleary false that i have struggled to argue against it. 
What i am finding is that there is a segment of society-one in which i myself belong- which feels obligated to put family and quality of life before financial success. And this mindset is one which is learned and passed on from generation to generation. These individuals take moderate paying jobs, clock out at the end of the day and go home to their real passion- the people they care about. They are not motivated by a paycheck, but see it instead as a fact of life. Money is a tool. Nothing more, nothing less. Becuase of their moderate income, these family's tend to have less of an emergency fund to compensate in the face of furloughs, pay decreases, and lay offs. And as a result, these are the individuals who are disproportionally affected by an economic downturn. They have lower paying jobs to begin with (allowing for them to enjoy more free time). And with lower paying jobs usually comes less job security. Less job security inevitably leads to vulnerability in a turbulent job market. These are precisely the reasons these families end up relying on so called 'entitlement programs' to temporarily make their ends meet. 
They are not irresponsible families who refuse to take care of themselves. They are families whose priorities are in the right place. They are concerned with quality. Not quantity. And they expect when they are down and out to be able to take advantage of programs that they have spent their entire working life PAYING INTO. 

I cant stand people who go around telling others how to be happy. Particularly because very few of them, and in my experience, none of them, actually appear to be happy. This is not judgment. In fact, it is quite the opposite. If you did not need validation that your method worked, you would not be dispensing advice and looking forward to hearing my progress. You would be fufilled in your own life. This is very different from people who give advice freely when asked. 
Want to make someone unhappy?? Then go ahead and tell them how to live their life. No grown adult wants to hear this. Not from a partner, not from their parent and certainly not from a stranger. It is true that you can experience happiness by helping someone out, but NO ONE wants to be told how to live their life. 

No one.

But more importantly, when individuals are told how to deal with their problems, they miss out on THE LESSON. They learn instead to seek out others advice versus dealing with a problem thru the proper channels of introspection.  Embrace you. Believe in you. Figure
out what is best for YOU. Selfishness is important and valuable. Only when you have done this, then you can figure your way thru a problem. 
When you ask others for help, you have effectively said that I do not have the ability to work thru this on my own. And make no mistake, this is very different from running your game plan by someone. No one can teach you to believe in you. You just have to do it. Forget everyone else for just a minute. And I mean EVERYONE. 
You are the only one you can rely on. You have everything you need to be happy. But only if YOU embrace it.

Everything about my two children is different.
The circumstances under which they were concieved, their deliveries, the family they were welcomed into, the home that they first lived in, and their sex are all so different from what the other has known. And it makes me wonder what impact this profound difference will have had on them when they have grown up.
Lorelei has always been our roll with the punches child. She was concieved by accident, without me or Brian even having an idea that she would change our lives forever. It was the most amazing surprise that either of us has ever had. And without planning for her or any real desire for her, we changed our lives completely to accomodate this little child whom we had no idea how to care for. We were practically still children ourselves, at 24. But even given our strong inclination to planning. We did not. We accepted this challenge as it came, changing what we had to for her, though not much else. And we made our little family work. And to be quiet honest, she only made us happier and more grateful for the amazing lives that we are so blessed to have. She was loved implicitly and never once went without. I wonder constantly if this has solidfied her obvious high self esteem, or given her a false foundation which has yet to be truly challenged. I'm inclined to believe the former as i myself am a strong willed woman, highly confident, and not afraid of much. But the latter is a fear that is real. Is there anything worse than being on a pedastal? Even one of your own making? Isn't it just a target, something everyone is shooting at, hoping to catch you wobble so that they can watch and relish in your inevitable fall? I cant help but wonder. Will she fall sooner and be humbled or later and be damaged? Will she know how to respond? Have i showed her this? I cant be sure. And this worries me.
But Zeke is different. From day one, zeke was planned. Planned and wanted and cared for to the absolute best of my ability. He was my chance to get it all right. To take what i learned that first go round and run with it.
With zeke we bought the new big family home, complete with 4/5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a large yard and a park 3 houses down the road. I worked out during my pregnancy and ate better than i ever had in my life. My doctors were top notch and even my delivery- via c-section- was planned to ensure his welcome into the world went off without a hitch like the one his sister experienced. But when zeke came home, no planning could prepare us for what we had to deal with. Zeke slept amazingly well from the very beginning. A shock to us, but not completley unexpected beause this child cried all the time. All the time, and for no apparent reason. He had colic and no one could tell us how to deal with it. Brian and i grew apart. Brian resented zeke and i resented brian. This cycle continued for the greater part of his first year. All i kept thinking is what had we gotten ourselves into?? Were we ready for this? Was part of the problem the overwhelming responsibility we had accepted in buying this new larger home? It drained our finances and patience. It was incredibly hard to go from our little perfectly remodled home with our fat bank account to one in which we now had the space and ability to dream but now lived paycheck to paycheck. Was this the example i would want my children to follow? I find myself still questioning this decision 3 years later. Did i do the right thing by my kids? It seems only time will tell. I cant help but trace zekes unpredictable moodiness to the stresses we endured moving into this house. It was all for him and that is no exaggeration. Brian was always open to one more kid. But he admantly said he did not want one at essex. We were cramped in our 2 bed 1 bath home. I agreed. So much so that i wonder if i didnt push us into the house at woolsey.
Brian and i were driving one day when we began discussing our new home purchase. Long story short, we came to the conclusion that we both agreed to buy the house because we thought the other had wanted to. That was a rude awakening. No wonder we were both so miserable when more stress was added to our lives. Im not sure if the house was the problem, or rather our lack of experience in dealing with real home ownership problems that brought us so much stress and unhappiness.
But i do know one thing. It affected zeke. He was along for this entire ride, if only in utero. And i fear the effect this has had on him. And i wonder if there is anything i can do to compensate for it.